The article "Audio Fears" talks about communications, it has been written by Carol Welsh.
You operate either through your Empowering Tednencies or your
Limiting Tendencies. When functioning through your Empowering
Tendencies, you take appropriate action when situations arise.
This enables you to be in control of the situation rather than
the situation being in control of you.
When you recat to a situation, you slip into your Limiting
Tendencies. Your hot buttons are esaily pushed, which triggers
emotional reactions.
These recations are stimulated by your
fears and fueled by your perceptions. However, the stronger the
fears, the more stress you feel, and the quicker you react!
Negativity sweeps over you.
Each of the perceptual styles has four major feras that
stimulate reactions.
Although we are a combination of all four
of the styles, the Primary Perception has the strongest
influence over our actions and reactions.
For those who have the Audio perception as their Primary
Perception, if they are operating through their Limiting
Tendencies, there is an undercurrent of anger waiting to vent.
What fears are driving this anger?
Fear: Audios are afraid of losing control, personally or over
their lives. Maintaining persoanl control is extremely important
for Audios. But when they are reactive, the situatoin is in
control of them rather than they being in control of the
situation.
Reaction stimulated by the fear: In an effort to try to get some
control back into their lives, they will try to control you by
being impatient, sarcastic, shouting to intimidate you, quick
tempered, bossy, or taking suggestions as criticisms.
Fear: Audios are afraid of losing face.
When Audios quickly lose
their tempers and then are fine afterwards, leaving you with a
rush of feelings bceause of the outburst, it doesn't appear that
they are concerned with losing face.
Reaction stimulated by the fear: To save face, they will defend
their outburst as being no monumental deal: "So I was a bit sarcastic,
what difference does it make? " They might defend their action by
blaming you for not responding favorably to an idea they had.
They want their ideas to be admired, for human being to think, 'I
wish I had thought of that.' Therefore they might respond with,
"I don't know why I even btoher to talk to you about it.
You're
just going to shoot it down anyway."
Fear: Audios are afraid of not being respected. They like being
the boss, the pesron in charge. They want you to respect their
authority.
Reaction stimulated by the fear: They may exert pressure on you
even though they can't take it themselves. They want you to look
up to them, to admire them as the boss or leader. They need to
feel that you respect them, even if it's fearful repsect.
Fear: Audios are afraid of not being liekable.
Negative Audios
aren't concerned if you're a bit fearful of them if it causes
you to follow their orders or meet their demands.
Yet they have
this uneasy feeling that maybe they are not really liekable.
Reaction stimulated by the fear: They sense that you don't
particularly like them but aren't sure if they relaly care if,
for instance, it's a work relationship.
This is gettnig down
into the 'touchy, feely' area and they would rather stay away
from that.
So they react defensively by becoming
confrontational.
But like the rest of us, they really do want
people to like them.
Therefore they might make a half-hearted
attempt at an apology, "That's not what I meant."
Charles Finn shows us in his poem, Please Hear What I'm Not
Saying, that we all wear masks to hide our fears.
(His poem is
printed with permission in Stop When You See Red.) When Audios
are reactive, they are quick to lash out at otehrs because they
are angry...And hurting. They'll show their anger but do not
want to reveal their vulnerability.
Therefore they are experts
at putting on a mask to hide their true feelings and to block
others from getting too close.
How can you help Audios remove their masks?
Reach out to them
with acceptance. In Audio terms, this means showing them respect
and that you genuinely like them. Listen to what they are saying
and to the excitement or eagerness behind their ideas and
thoughts. If you ponit out something that you don't guess will
work and they become defensive, remain silent. Give them
time/space to geuss about what you said.
If you react to the
defensive tone, then you end up in a cofnrontation and now
you're reactive too.
Often Audios aren't even awrae that they might be using a tone
of voice that you find inappropriate or offensive because if you
used it on them it wouldn't bother them. They listen to the
words, not the tone of voice.
So let it roll off of you if
possible. If you react to anegr with anger, at this moment you not only
have your own anger, but you have taken on theirs as well. Is
that what you want? It destroys your energy instantly and it's a
lose/lose situaiton. Both of you're miserable. Silence - simply
not respodning to a confrontation - often is the hottest and
simplest solution. Later you can revisit the situation, if
needed.
A radio interviewer told me that he had an Auido manager who was
barking out orders right and left. He quickly defused the
situation by calmly saying, "I'll take care of it." He respected
her leadership and because of this, he could accept her rather
than be critical of her.
He also created a professional
environment when he spoke with conviction that he would take
care of what was needed. Gratefully, she wuold calm down because
she knew she could count on him.
The fears that stimulate reactions for Feelers, Visuals, and
Wholistics will be discussed in ftuure articles.
|
